December 25th


1223: St. Francis of Assisi assembles the first Nativity scene... and he is immediately sued by the forefathers of the ACLU.


1776: George Washington and his army cross the Delaware River to Hessian mercenaries in Trenton, New Jersey. It's the last time anyone crossed anything in New Jersey without paying a toll.


1868: President Andrew Johnson grants unconditional pardon to all Civil War Confederate soldiers... except for the ones who refuse to stop playing "Dixie" every damned day.