Waiter, there's a guinea fowl in my parsley!

I've never cooked a guinea fowl but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that some cooks put parsley on their guinea fowl. Not me, though, I get guinea fowl on my parsley!

I don't know, call me unreasonable, but I think I have a right to whinge about the fact that I struggle to grow anything in my garden. Aside from the lousy soil (despite tons of compost added), the profusion of snails, the ever-digging squirrels, I now find there are guinea fowl digging scrapes for themselves all over the place.



Clearly my attempts at gardening are not impressing the fowl and they are behaving in a way which I consider most seriously foul. I had planned to plant some thyme and oregano more or less where Mrs Guinea is lying but I suspect she may just dig up the lot. Or sand-shower anything that gets in her way. If it's not bad enough being woken up at 5am with a rousing rendition of ba-kaaak, ba-kaaaak, heck-heck-heck, I now have to contend with herbs a la guinea. (It's making me think that if this carries on it will be guinea a la herbes soon... Be warned, oh foul fowl!)



Let's face it, a guinea fowl isn't exactly a small bird so when a scrape is dug in which to lie to take the sun, my dear, there's a fair whack of gardening attempts that are displaced. Perhaps I just won't bother. Of course, in keeping with the old adage, "if you can't beat them, join them" perhaps I should stop gardening and just spend my weekends reclining on the sunlounger (I don't really think I'm up to wallowing in the soil).



Oh, and this is him, Mr Guinea, looking on and preening and entirely unphased about having his picture taken. Hmm, clearly it's a tough life in my back garden.


FOOTNOTE: Lest anyone honestly think I've got it in for the guinea fowl - I hasten to assure you I haven't and no guineas were injured in the making of this post. We love them to bits and spend a fortune on seed and corn every month. Suckers for punishment, that's what D and I are!

UPDATE: And today there are three guinea fowl in the parsley - will someone please tell me about the appeal of parsley?!