Air Traffic Snarl
A massive failure in the nation's air traffic control system is delaying flights across the country. Experts say it's not cyber terrorism because our air traffic system isn't compatable with anything newer than a Commodore VIC 20.



The Botax
The Democrats' Senate health care bill includes a new tax on elective plastic surgery. The good news is that if the bill is passed, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden plan to leave the country.



Karzai Promise
Afghan President Hamid Karzai vowed today to focus on corruption and drug-trafficking during his second term in office. But it's hard to believe his administration could do a better job at corrupt drug traffickers than it was in its first term.



Stimulus Probe
A House committee will hold a hearing today to look into the White House's claim that the stimulus has saved or created 640,000 jobs. The first witness was supposed to be the guy responsible for counting the new jobs, but he can't make it because his abacus is broken.



Cockpit Computer Ban
A new bill calls for a ban on personal laptops and handheld computers in the cockpits of commercial airlines. Pilots are supporting the measure, mostly because those computers get in the way of their frozen margarita machines.





November 19th

1794: The United States and the Kingdom of Great Britain sign Jay's Treaty, which attempts to resolve some of the lingering problems left over from the American Revolutionary War... like who got the remaining toothpaste. America won.


1946: Afghanistan, Iceland and Sweden join the United Nations... mostly for the free parking in Manhattan.


1990: Pop group Milli Vanilli are stripped of their Grammy Award because the duo did not sing at all on the Girl You Know It’s True album. But the session musicians who did do the singing were jailed for crimes against humanity.