(Image nicked off the image databank of google...)Ba-kaaaak! Ba-kaak - ba-kaak!
How on earth do you humans stand living without some form of climate control!?!
Here I am, having dropped in on Vanilla to make sure she's keeping things in order - ha! fat chance of that! - and what do I find, half the planet flooding and the bit where she is positively freezing. Foul, that's what it is, foul! No! Not fowl! Foul!
In Novapulse we long ago learned the wisdom of climate control. We have a marvellous, regulated biosphere that covers the entire planet and keeps things at a nice even temperature - rather, I suspect, like what your ozone layer was supposed to do before you decided that you'd much rather have a protective covering full of holes. Far better that, some bright spark thought, than going without Formula One racing and jet planes... and all those other convenient things that humanity has come to deem so necessary. You know, all those things that make your species lazier and lazier and lardier and lardier... Yes, well... I mean, really, if the Great Corncob that is the Universal Energy thought it was appropriate for you to chase around in circles going at speeds that are quite unnecessary and getting machines to do all your hard work for you, you would have been born with wheels on your feet and a computer in your head - but you weren't - were you. No you weren't - don't start trying to argue differently!
Yes, yes, alright, I can already hear you over there piping up with a "well if the great Corncob had wanted Novapulse to have a well regulated biosphere the planet would have been created with one." Ah, but you see, here's the thing - it was. Trouble was back in the Dark Ages of our history, some distant relative of old Dumphuck McCluck's decided that he wanted... guess what - a really fast means of transport. Wings weren't good enough for the likes of him... And so began our planet's downfall. First it was fast cars, then it was extra heating in winter, then it was cooling in summer, then it was... oh you know how it goes - just the way you're doing it here. Of course, when Novapulsians finally woke up to reality it was to find that the biosphere was all but destroyed and the planet was in the throes of dying. The Draconians, needless to say, were watching from the sidelines having a hearty rasping, hissing cackle. Thank the Corncob that the Andromedans, ever faithful friends, came to our rescue and stopped the madness.
Best you hope they come to your rescue too - though I'm not going to start counting my corncobs before the maize starts sprouting...
I'd like to say, come on humantiy, learn from our mistakes, but I suspect you lot won't wake up until the last tree has been felled and the last animal has popped it's paws and gone to join the heavenly choir - and all that's left to eat is... hmm-mmm... each other!
Now, I'm going to fluff up my feathers, tuck my head under my wing and try to get warm in the normal way.
Vanilla! Pass the beans!
(Thank goodness for CartoonStock!)
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