October 2nd


1187: Saladin captures Jerusalem after 88 years… finally giving its residents the glorious right to stone their own daughters to death once again.


1950: Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz is first published… which means Lucy has been a bitch for 60 years.


2009: Rio de Janeiro is selected the host city of the 2016 Summer Olympics, triggering the creation of a new Olympic sport: “thong dashing.”