Sanchez Axed
CNN has fired anchor Rick Sanchez after he implied that the Jews run the network. Jews would have been less angry if Sanchez had said they run a network that people actually watch.



Welfare Bonanza
$69 million worth of California welfare checks have been cashed in Las Vegas and on cruise ships in the Caribbean... but that's only because most banks in California have gone out of business.



Nobel Prize
Robert Edwards has won the 2010 Nobel Prize in medicine on Monday for developing of in-vitro fertilization... now if he could only invent something to help 60-year-old women remember where they left their babies.



Scholarship Servitude
A former Dean at St. John’s University is accused of forcing students to clean, cook and act as her personal servants to keep their scholarships. But most of the scholarship students felt that was better than having to play for the basketball team.



Gold Vault Open
Global economic fears are forcing JP Morgan Chase to re-open its gold vault in New York City… not so people can withdraw gold, but to give its customers a place to live.



October 4th

1209: Otto IV is crowned emperor of the Holy Roman Empire by Pope Innocent III. Once again the final score: Otto 4, Pope Innocent 3.


1537: The first complete English-language Bible is printed, disappointing thousands of young Monks who were hoping it would include nude pictures of Adam and Eve.


1965: Pope Paul VI becomes the first Pope to visit New York… and immediately is compelled to perform a citywide exorcism.