Dancing with David

He’s been watching me for months. I know he’s there, just beyond the edge of my vision, standing on a vast open plain, poised, immobile. It is hard to see him, the sky is dark, low and he rises into it. Each day as I weaken he comes a little closer. His eyes on me. Waiting. The silent observer. I grow used to him, I call him David. Yet his constant presence unnerves me.

I know why he is there but I don’t know why he waits. I am uneasy and fear and foreboding shiver in ever widening tingles up my spine, clamp to my head, bend me. I am afraid of what he is, of what he brings - of where he wants to take me. I am paralysed by my fear. I don’t like it - and I resent being afraid.

I remember what I’ve always told myself. Face your fear – it will shrink, become insignificant.

So I turn to him. Take him by surprise.

“I know you’re there. We both know why you’re here. Come on then, get on with it.”

He faces me. He is beautiful - unexpectedly so. And gentle. His face is still and serene. Dark eyelashes curve above black eyes, a fringe of lustrous hair flops over his brow. He is ageless. Always has been. Tall, broad-shouldered, collected, at ease. He smiles. A slow smile and behind him the plain lights up.

This is not what I expected.

I move towards him, curious. He takes my hand.

“Shall we go now?” I ask.

He smiles. He never speaks. He doesn’t need words. He is beyond them. I know this.

Instead his thoughts filter into my mind.

“Not now.”

“Then why are you here?”

“You intrigue me. Not many watch me as you do. Few reach out to me as you have done. Most are afraid of me.”

Yes, most are... But he isn’t frightening. Whatever he brings… it isn’t fear. He comes with peace – and tranquility.

“Can I go with you?” I ask unable to wrest my eyes from his. Deep, languid pools in which I am drowning…

He smiles. “No.”

He holds me to him. It is the very embrace I thought I would always fear, the one I should run from. But I am not afraid. I have no desire to run. Instead I want to stay enfolded in his arms forever. I am falling in love with him. I am dancing with him...comforted and easy in his embrace… I want it to last forever - want to stay with him. I crave this peaceful end, which he will not let come. Not now. Not tonight.

He turns away, his eyes soft and smiling still. He steps back from me, walks away, receding into the vastness of the plain until he is there yet not there. I stand and watch him, my heart torn. I should be glad but instead, I am sad. But I know… He will always be watching me and one day I will dance with David for eternity.

The Door Home...?

The darkness crept closer, enfolding me in inky arms. It pressed down against me. I couldn't... couldn't fight it off.
My life force was ebbing away - ebbing, seeping from me as though something had pulled my plug and I was emptying myself of that which kept me alive.
Fear sprang through the darkness - clutched at me, strangling me with terror.
I wanted to push it away... but I was devoid of strength.
There was no choice... but to accept. I was dying.
And in that moment of acceptance came clarity and peace.
The absolute nothingness of the dark lightened just a little... to a twilight... dim, filtered light, grey, watchful...
I was standing on a giant chess board... rough stone, cracked and worn beneath my feet. To my right, a towering stone wall - a fortress perhaps. To my left, the black silhouettes of spiring firs - marching up an infinite peak. Behind me... I don't know. Life, I suppose.
And ahead of me... A vast door set within another wall of stone.
I stood in the monochromatic gloom, looking, without comprehension... wondering...
Where was I?
I could not go back, could not even turn around to see from whence I'd come. The forest was forbidding, though the trees were strangely observant, almost protective. They seemed to represent some aspect of the life I was leaving behind.
I faced the door and advanced. It was what I was meant to do. Intuitively, I knew that.
The door swung open - just a fraction.
Light spilled out. White-golden luminance... shining so brightly I could hardly bear to look at it. But I wanted it. Oh yes, I wanted that light. I knew what it was. It was home.
The door - the portal between worlds.
The door opened further and I moved closer to it, reaching out with my innermost core to the brilliance that flooded through it.
They talk of the white light when they talk of near death experiences, don't they...? So... this was it... only there was no tunnel, just the chess board... the remnant of the game of life...
The fear left me. I surrendered. I wasn't losing my life. I was returning to it. Returning to the soul pool. Returning to the source of all created things. Oh yes. I wanted to go home. Please. Let me come home. My life force, the very last drops of it, trickled away... Calm descended upon me... total tranquility...
I... was... going... home...
A jolt surged through me. Then another. And another.
The life force pulsed into my being. The doorway began to close. No!
Not yet. Not my time. Not now...
I felt sensation return to my limbs.
I held the light in my heart, in my mind's eye - and slept.

What is death, after all, the beginning or the end? We've made it into something it's not - or have we? Which is the illusion... death? Or life?



(Both images used in this post were duly nicked off the internet and I am grateful that they serve my words so well - to the creators, whoever you are, thank you.)