I love Dim Sum and remember first eating them in a little restaurant tucked down a side alley in Dublin. We used to go there at about 11am on Sundays, choose our selection from the trolleys pushed around by obliging waitresses and devour fluffy white clouds of deliciousness whilst sipping Chinese tea. So when I discovered that one of my favourite local restaurants (or what I should say was once one of my favourite local restaurants...) had had an upgrade and was now serving Dim Sum, I was hugely excited. Not put off by the sushi which wasn’t up to par the previous week (it used to be delectable) – I thought, not a problem, I can have their Dim Sum. Ha.
So much for fluffy white clouds of deliciousness or little tokens that touch your heart. After sharing a small selection with D, I was left feeling as though I had a lead balloon, or, if you prefer, a dead baboon, in my stomach – and he was fermenting… I thank the goddess for a gut-saving Traditional Chinese remedy called Bao He Wan aka Relieve Stomach Stagnation.
As for the traditional Chinese tea normally served with Dim Sum, well, I guess the tea-boat from China must have sunk.
"I'm so sorry," I muttered to D who'd never had Dim Sum before, "that wasn't Dim Sum, it wasn't even Asian Fusion, that was complete Asian Fusion Confusion!"
“Did you enjoy your meal?” asked the bright young thing serving us.
“Hmm,” I murmured, “let me just say that that was the most disappointing Dim Sum experience of my life.” And went on to explain what Dim Sum were all about, what they were supposed to have in them, how light they were supposed to be and so on - you know, in the way of the worldly-wise and well-travelled...
As an aside: I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned using the word "disappointing" with service providers is far more effective than using the word "awful". “Awful” hits then over the head like a club and causes them to put up all sorts of prickly defenses. “Disappointing” slips between the armour and slides neatly between the ribs, leaving them defenseless. (Oh yes, I’m getting decidedly and strategically mean as I get older.)
All I can say is that locals going to said restaurant and trying Dim Sum for the first time will be put off for life. Unless they like something which is a combination of vetkoek and dwarf bread* and tastes of nothing in particular. In future I will make my own Dim Sum.
“Ooh,” groaned D, as we drove home, “After all that fusion food I need to be defused.”
Yes, well, preferably not anywhere near me!
* Dwarf bread a product from the Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels is solid, chunky stuff. "It will enable you to survive for days (by making you realise you are surrounded by things that look more edible) and never goes stale, possibly because it was always stale. Its primary use is as a weapon (although it is also used as a kind of currency), and it is made in many different types. Reportedly the process of "forging" a loaf of dwarf bread includes gravel as part of the recipe, and kitty litter is apparently a preferred seasoning."
Source
This is not Dim Sum, or Dwarf bread...
It is, indeed, a cupcake. For those of you who didn't know...
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