Wottapotamus! (KNP 8)

Oh whatapotamus!

Mother and calf

Question: if the plural of hippopotamus is hippopotami, what is the plural of whataclotamus?
Yes, I know, it’s an old one, but we did so love it when we were 10…

I'm so pretty, oh so pretty...

I don’t know what it is about hippopotami that makes them “cute”. I mean, they’re hardly small and cuddly and yet there is something endearing about them – sort of like bulldogs. Perhaps it’s those piggy eyes or those waggly little ears. But there is this about them….: you see them wallowing in the water or lazing on a riverbank and they like look like such docile herbivores, but did you know that they are responsible for more human deaths than any other mammal - about 400 a year? Apparently a hippo’s jaws are capable of biting a 10 ft crocodile in two. Just don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Splish, splash, I'm taking a bath...

A male hippo weighs in at between 1600 – 3200kgs – no lightweight – and yet is able to move at speeds of up to 30 kph (18 mph). At one waterhole we saw a herd move en masse. An awesome sight! One minute they were all snoozing in the sunshine, the next minute they were charging into the water, causing a mini-tsunami to hit the shore where we were parked. And that’s not to mention the remarkable bellowing and grunting that accompanied the little stampede. I’m not sure what set them off, but it certainly resulted in a not insignificant dust cloud!

Lazing...

Charging...

Wallowing

Our best hippo treat was at Lake Panic, near Skukuza – a whole mob of hippos wallowing no more than 3 meters away from us! You simply don’t get a feeling for the size of the creature whilst it’s in the water, it’s only when it lumbers out that you realise quite what you’re dealing with.

I'm big, and I'm watching you...

And as for those really big yawns that hippos are inclined to do whilst bathing, don’t be fooled. It’s not a yawn, it’s a display of dominance which says, “My! what big teeth I have, all the better for biting you in half! Now sod off, you’re tramping on my toesies!”

My what big teeth I have...

But the thing that really made me wonder at the Lake Panic hide was the huge hippo lurking directly beneath our feet. What exactly was it up to, I wondered, as it wallowed no more than two foot beneath us, it’s smooth grey skin bobbing out of the water. It was, I have to say, very weird to find oneself standing, literally, on top of a ‘potamus and I had the very distinct feeling that said ‘potamus was up to no good. Was it genning up on humanity? Or was it planning an uprising that would see several tourists going arse over kettle and floundering around in muddy water, a happy bit of croco-deli…cious delicacy? I have no idea and I didn’t hang about to find out.



And I'll leave you with this...

With apologies to Ogden Nash…
Behold the hippopotamus
We think he’d do well to watch out for us
But while he may look docile and mild
The truth is, he has a temper quite wild
It’s us who’d best watch out
Lest we be bit by a beast most stout.

Whatalotofpotamus!