Debt Explosion
The national debt will reach $13 trillion sometime next week. Congress is considering moving somewhere the bill collectors are afraid to go, like Detroit.



Cisco Profits
Cisco made $2.2 billion in the first 12 weeks of this year... mostly from selling computers that can add up the total of the U.S. national debt.



Foreclosures Ease
Foreclosures fell 2% in April... mostly because the overworked guys writing the foreclosure papers at all the banks got carpal tunnel.



L.A. Boycott
The L.A. city council has voted to boycott Arizona... and Kobe Bryant has decided to continue boycottting passing the basketball when the Lakers play the Phoenix Suns in the playoffs next week.



SEC Probe
The SEC now says it is doing a "broad probe" of all the major banks. Of course, "broad probe" is also the term used by the SEC when all the employees routinely surf porn at their desks.





May 13th

1787: Captain Arthur Phillip leaves Portsmouth, England with eleven ships full of convicts... all bound for Oakland Raiders training camp.


1888: Brazil abolishes slavery after realizing that whipping slaves is too hard to do when you're distracted by all the women walking around in thongs.


1960: Hundreds of UC Berkeley students congregate for the first day of protest against the House Un-American Activities Committee. Police end up arresting several students on charges of illegal assembly, disturbing the peace, and spontaneous folk music.