CBO Discovery
The Congressional Budget Office now says the new health care law will cost an additional $155 billion... mostly because of the shocking discovery that most Americans actually want to keep living.



Kagan Opposition
Despite being a respected legal scholar, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan faces strong challenges from conservatives, supporters of the U.S. military, and the 500,000 people on Facebook who are demanding President Obama nominate Betty White.



Boeing Strike
1,700 UAW workers have walked off the job at a Boeing plant in Long Beach, California. The union member is demanding better pensions, better health care, and they really just want to go joing the riots in Greece.




Lebron Bombs
Experts believe Lebron James is closer to signing with another team now that his Cleveland Cavaliers are on the verge of being eliminated from the playoffs. In fact, James is finally becoming enough of a failure to play for the Knicks.



Runaway Economy
A new report shows that economic hardship is the top reason why teenagers are running away from home. Unfortunately, the weak economy does not have the same effect on members of Congress.






May 12th


1780: Charleston, South Carolina is taken by British forces... mostly because they needed a place to nap.


1955: The last section of elevated track on New York City's IRT 3rd Avenue subway closes... pigeons are forced to crap somewhere else.


2002: Former President Jimmy Carter arrives in Cuba for a five-day visit with Fidel Castro... where the men spend most of the time complaining about back pain and hemorrhoids.