Once upon a time, about last week, when I was out in the garden with my camera, the following story unfolded...

"Bert, do you see that?"
"Ooh, er, indeed I do..."

"I think we'd better follow it, see what it's up to."
"Yes, indeed. One can't trust a cat."

"What's it doing, Bert?"
"Admiring its silly self."
"So typical of a cat!"

"We must show our intent, boys."
"Herd it, I say."
"Let it know who's in charge."

"Come along then, Kitty, this way."
"I'm being hounded, I am. No, wait, I'm being guinea-fowled..."
"Who do they think they are. I don't think I like this at all. Perhaps I shouldn't have eaten the little ones... but they were such easy prey. Muahahahahahaaa""Come along, Kitty, we're here to keep a beady eye on your perambulations."
"Yes, move along now, Cat."
"You may have fur and fangs, but we have beaks and claws - and much louder voices!"

"Wait, what is that, Bert?"
"Do you hear voices?"
"Indeed I do."
"It's the great Guinea God calling!"

"Guinea God, whatever next! There is only one God and it's Me!"
Oh yes, and in case you're wondering... that first draft is FINISHED!