First Anniversary Chills

My Facebook status for today reads:

Vanilla has to take a cold shower. It's her first wedding anniversary. The two are not related.
Posted about an hour ago · Comment · Like


I have to say, it’s not exactly how I expected the day to start. I thought I would be writing a romantic blog post about being married for one year. Some of you may even remember the happy day. Instead D woke me up this morning and said, “Happy Anniversary, Vanilli, and now for the bad news. The geyser has blown.”

Kind of takes all the romance out a girl’s day, doesn’t it. At least the shower wasn’t as cold as I expected. By dint of turning on the hot tap full blast I manage to extract the last few litres of warm water from the ailing geyser and now I sit here waiting for the electrician to arrive. He’s not sure, he said, if he can make it today. I suppose I could have pulled a line about it being my anniversary and oh pleeeeeeese, Mr Electrician.

Google tells me that the first wedding anniversary is celebrated by gifts of paper. I mean what sort of gift would you give someone that was paper? A piece of origami maybe? A paper packet. A notebook. Okay, all offers of notebooks gladly accepted. A newspaper? No thanks. A paper hat? Oh, if you must. But I suppose it might mean books? Of course it must mean books! I sincerely hope it means books! Okay, all books happily accepted!


Which, moving on, means talking about “the book”. Well, the book aka the manuscript, is lingering for a moment. I am thoroughly pregnant with words, fit to explode really, but I have to do more research. So I have my nose buried in volumes on Slavic mythology and treatises on vampirology. I have to say that to some extent it takes the fun out of writing and it does induce nightmares but it is, on the flip side, incredibly interesting. I never realised one could get so wound up about Marx (yes, that Marx) and vampires – you know, the line about capitalism being like a vampire. And there I just thought I was writing a teen-friendly paranormal novel. Ah the layers of life. You’ve got to love it.

And talking about layers and vampires (oh you have to love word and thought association…) – I’m expecting a wonderful feed tonight – layers of flavours harmoniously married together into a symphony of taste... Yumyum! We’re off to La Colombe, the restaurant we went to exactly one year ago – and which has now been awarded the status of best restaurant in SA this year. So lack of hot water notwithstanding, hauntings by vampires aside, I still plan to thoroughly enjoy my first wedding anniversary! Champagne, anyone?!

A rose is a rose is wedded bliss...

Aaah, sigh, wedded bliss... Who'd have thought. Certainly not me. And there I thought it was really just going to be a bureaucratic formality - and in fact it was so much more. Sigh... Moon...

As a friend wrote to me in an email today: "You know, in many ways I believe that we receive gifts when we know how to appreciate them. Then we can nurture every special moment, work out the differences and walk a smooth and happy path with the one we love."

This is so true. Getting married the second time has been a richer, deeper and totally joyous experience. I'm happy being married - and I didn't believe I'd ever say that!

As another friend said, "I'm sure the "guides" are beaming from ear to ear, and saying things like "isn't it great when they do it the right way round like this? Work at their relationship first - get married as a result of that?!" and "it's beautiful when souls marry in reality, without the scales still on their eyes" - or something like that :-) "

The ceremony was short, simple and beautiful - with me in my little red dress.

First Patrick, our marriage officer and a really lovely man, read us a poem by Pablo Neruda...

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Then he did a special cleansing and blessing ritual of the rings with water and fire. We said our vows, exchanged rings and he finished off with a Celtic blessing:

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.

As we walked outside, moony and beaming, we noticed that the clouds that had filled the sky all day had rolled back to reveal the vast blue heaven while scattered diamonds glinted off the sea.

We arrived home to find a huge flock of guinea fowl in the driveway - not the usual mob - but a far bigger group with young ones and adolescents. We fed them and soon after the regulars arrived. The new flock flapped and fluttered up to the roof while the regulars filled the driveway and then they all sang - sweet syrupy notes filled with gentle twitterings - so very different from the usual raucous clucks and squawks. There is nothing quite like the sound of guinea fowl singing, it is sweetness itself. The guinea fowl, for those who don't know, brings the Goddess energy and the energy of protection. So as a final note to our marriage, we received a guinea fowl blessing. It doesn't get much better than that!

Dinner out was wonderful - the food a medley of flavours, woven together into a symphony of taste. And there were special touches too - flowers in our serviettes and a platter of sweetmeats at the end with the words "Congratulations on your Wedding Day" piped in chocolate on the plate with lots of little chocolatey hearts.

It was a good day and the best is still to come - the honeymoon...! On which note I will advise you that this blog is going into a short hiatus while I... well never you mind! :-)

Be good, take care of yourselves, be happy, be loving and loved, have fun and soar on the wings of grace and good humour.

With love and hugs to all of you.

See ya' soon...!

Ding Dong the Bells are going to Chime...

"...Love one another, but make not a bond of love

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping,

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts"



The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran

I’ve dropped two little hints in the past week or two about “news” and my brain being slushy for multiple reasons… Well, if you know the lines of the song… Ding dong the bells are going to chime, then you’ll get what I’m on about.

Yes, I’m getting married - tomorrow.

As a highly independent woman this is not a decision that has been taken likely and ours is a relationship that really doesn’t need marriage to complete it. But bureaucracies being what they are and with our plans to trek across the globe, we’re doing the deed. And this nineteen years after I married for the first time and nine years after I divorced my then-husband and swore I’d never get married again. Ah well, as someone I once knew used to say, “What’s the good of having a mind if you can’t change it”!

So here I am, for better or for worse, preparing to tie said nuptial knot with a very special man whom I love, respect and adore!

There is no big event. No fuss, no bother. We’re just quietly going to do the deed. Though, let’s face it, no girl needs an excuse to buy a new outfit – so weather permitting, I shall be wearing a strappy little red number. Though given the look of the weather right now I suspect I might just be doing an imitation of an icicle! Here’s hoping the weather swings and the sun shines. And after the deed is done, we’re treating ourselves to a lovely meal here. If it’s good enough for Juliette Binoche and Oprah Winfrey, then I reckon it will do just fine for me.

So, my dear blogkin and blog buddies, light a candle or say a prayer and think of us tomorrow at 15h00 GMT +1 hr.