Lebron Returns
Lebron James returns to Cleveland tonight to play against his old team... and get try to get a refund for his Browns season tickets.



McDonald's Loans?
One of the companies that was given part of the Fed's $3 trillion in interest-free loans was McDonald's. It turns out too many people were trying to buy their shakes on layaway.



Mexican Women Crooks
More women are now participating in kidnappings and killings in Mexico; a direct result of Virginia Slims' "You've come a long way baby!" gangster marketing campaign.



Cruise Threat
The CEO of Carnival Cruise Lines says strict new fuel efficiency rules are a huge threat to the entire cruising industry... but not quite as much of a threat as the cast of Carnival's crappy on-board production of "West Side Story."



More Planets
A new report shows that the universe holds billions more stars than previously thought. Great, like Times Square isn't jammed with enough tourists this time of year already.





December 2nd

1804: At Notre Dame Cathedral in Napoleon Bonaparte crowns himself Emperor of the French, but the gleam of the event fades later that evening in bed when Napoloen’s wife tells him to take care of himself there too.


1954: The United States Senate votes 65 to 22 to condemn Joseph McCarthy for "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute”… in other words, acting like a U.S. Senator.


2008: Thai Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat resigns after no American news anchor is successfully able to pronounce his name.