Ford-Flockhart Wed
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart got married yesterdat after 8 years of dating. Flockhart says she didn't want to get married until she could find a wedding dress that was size negative-15.



Too Hard
President Obama's speech on the gulf oil disaster Tuesday night was written at a 10th-grade level, which, according to analysts, may have gone over the heads of many in his audience... especially the anchors at MSNBC.



Union Boss Hog
The former president of the Port Authority union has been charged with stealing $300,000 in union dues to pay for hookers... and $500,000 to pay for Twinkies and Old Milwaukee.



American Detained
A doctor says the American who was looking to kill Osama bin Laden in Pakistan is mentally ill. He also says the unmanned drone trying to find bin Laden has been taking too many antidepressants lately.




UK Bank Tax
A new British bank tax will slam American banks in London with $2 billion in costs this quarter alone. Most of that money will be used by the British government to buy their people decent teeth.





June 17th


1839: Hawaii gives Roman Catholics the freedom to worship as long as the priests stop trying to order poolside bar service after 9pm.


1960: The U.S. government gives the Nez Perce tribe $4 million for 7 million acres of previously undervalued land and to cover all future gambling debts for Members of Congress at all Nez Perce casinos.


1963: The Supreme Court rules against reciting of Bible verses and the Lord's Prayer in public schools. With the extra time, most schools can now teach hotter versions of sex ed.