Hurd Ousted
HP CEO Mark Hurd is out after a sex harrassment scandal. Hurd admits to violating company rules, but this being HP... both sides agree the actual sex was outsourced to India.



Viagra Demand
The Milwaukee teachers union is demanding that its free Viagra benefits be extended. It’s either that or stop bugging them about their hidden cameras in the girls locker room.



Michelle's Back!
Michelle Obama has returned from her vacation with 40 of her friends in Spain. It was either take them on this trip, or extend their unemployment benefits for another 99 weeks.



Apple Exec Quits
The Apple exec in charge of the iPhone stepped down. He plans to inform the company as soon as he can get reception on his iPhone.



Bell Outrage
The former city manager for Bell, California had 28 weeks vacation per year... that's just two weeks less than people get in France!






August 9th


1483: Opening of the Sistine Chapel… the Sistine Chapel gift shop opened two years earlier.

1907: The first Boy Scout encampment concludes at Brownsea Island in Great Britain. The child molestation prosecutions begin one day later.

1999: Russian President Boris Yeltsin fires Prime Minister, Sergei Stepashin, and replaces him with a bottle of vodka.