September 18th


1502: Christopher Columbus lands at Costa Rica on his fourth, and final, voyage… and this time he remembers to bring his own toilet paper.

1919: Fritz Pollard becomes the first African-American to play professional football. Moronic liberals cry racism when the opposing team starts tackling Pollard every time he carries the ball.

1997: Media magnate Ted Turner donates $1 billion to the United Nations. Most of it is used to pay overdue New York City parking tickets.